Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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