He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize