I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
