Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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