I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You pole danced in your parka.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
