official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize