Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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