Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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