highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
