Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.

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(214): View more from Texas

YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD

(469): View more from Texas

My thighs feel like glass

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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(530): View more from California

And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision

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