There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
