To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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