my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
