Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize