worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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