Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
