Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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