Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
