Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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