There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
