If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
