he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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