Apparently you make a good broom.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
