Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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