I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
