Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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