Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
