i barfeds in our rink
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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