Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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