Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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