when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
