It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
