DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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