the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
