thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
