Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
