at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will pee on everything he values.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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