i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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