I'm really into asian looking animals
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
