well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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