I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
