All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
