He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
