also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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