i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
