They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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