Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize