I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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