Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
