I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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