so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
