cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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