If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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