Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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