bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
