He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize