i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
