I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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